seeing ppl grow...
it's good to see people grow in Christ and establish that healthy relationship with God. It can bring a smile to your face or make your heart be blessed, peaceful and full of warmth. Praise God for doing a good work in Jenni!
then, you wonder why you might be struggling...
you just got to try and fight for that relationship with God. it won't be easy and most likely you probably won't like to do it. maybe because of apathy, maybe because of pride, maybe both. but you just got to dig down and press on. also, its not just to do it, but to do it in a worship mindsight (honoring and giving glory to God).