some things people should be thinking about...

is my Christian walk my own with God or is it my parents???
what are my strengths and weaknesses???
what am I passionate about???
what is God's purpose for me, my family, my church???

been waking up early these past few days.
waking up to prayer requests
waking up to life's tougher questions

yesterday it was specific people, specific faces
today was specific issues in my life, in the church, in searching for a youth director for our youth at willowbrook.
today was about preparing myself for tonight and for the weekend:
praise night is tonight- still doesnt feel like we've covered it with enough prayer
JH spring camp too, where are the hearts of our junior highers, seems like more division and hearts torn in two.
Deen's wedding: a time of celebration with good friends
Get together at Mrs. Wangs to talk about a book we've been reading: Growing Healthy Asian American churches- basically how we fail to live biblical truth and chose our Chinese values instead.

starting our new English Ministry again on June 4th. We're calling that day, D-Day (its so close to the actual date of D-day). We're also planning a retreat up in Wisconsin as a group over Memorial Day Weekend. I really hope this goes well. We've had to start and stop our ministry a few times now.

On the reflective side, we tried out prayer positions this past Sunday. I hope it went well.

what is it?

prayer positions is basically finding a position that most typifies your relationship with God, such as kneeling down, standing up with hands raised, lying on the ground resting in the arms of the Father or maybe by quiet waters and green pastures. It can also be like God is speaking to you, but you dont want to hear Him so you cover your ears. The distinction is, it has to be different than everyone else participating in this activity. You also need to know why you selected that position. Finally, the position has to be distinct and very open.

Now once you get into that position, pray for yourself and thank God or confess to God why you are in this position.

After that is done, here's the fun part...you get to share it with another person. so, you're praying for this person, learning about this person and their walk with God, and experiencing their intimate time with God and you now get to experience it for yourself.

Worship is not to be kept for yourself, its to be shared

wow...its been a year since my last blog. ever since xanga, my blog has just been left out in the dust. I dont think anyone really checks this site either. so, i guess it doesnt matter. hmmmm maybe perhaps I can my deep dark secrets here or maybe not.

is TEXAS HOLD'EM getting overboard???

Deal 'em: Kids get drawn in by pokerBy Lisa BlackTribune staff reporterPublished September 23, 2004Jaws clenched, none of these steely-eyed poker players are ready to fold, but it's 7:55 a.m. and a good bet they'll be late for their first class at Stevenson High School if they don't get moving."Just one more hand! Just one more hand!" a few of them shout, hoping to win back their losses.Huddled around a table in the commons area at the Lincolnshire school, the five sophomores don't toss money into the pot. That would be gambling, which is prohibited. Instead, they memorize IOUs--for later.Fueled by the glamour of televised tournaments with celebrity players, $5 million pay-outs and online casinos, poker is the rage among teenagers, who are organizing their own games, ponying up allowance and baby-sitting earnings.Across the Chicago area over this past year, the popularity of the card game has crossed all clique lines--from the jocks and band members to the nerds. One variation, Texas Hold 'em, is especially hot. Boys and girls alike are getting into the action.During the summer, game shop managers saw swarms of teens hunting for poker paraphernalia. Monogrammed poker chips were snapped up as graduation presents or Hanukkah gifts.Some parents admit having mixed feelings about the gambling aspect, which is, after all, illegal. But many let the kids hold tournaments in their basements and supply the munchies because they view it as a safe social activity that seems tame compared with other teen vices.Two distinct types of school-age poker players exist and both attend New Trier High School in Winnetka, said Alan Cosby, a 17-year-old senior from Glenview."There are the ones who want to make money and the ones like me who buy in for like $10 and just to want to have fun," he said. "There are other kids who can't stop, but I don't play with them. Some kids have been up to hundreds of dollars in debt."One Glenview teen said he has friends who have lied about their age to play online poker. An 8th grader tried to use an older brother's account to deposit $800 in winnings, but the online poker administrator caught on and accused him of "laundering money," said the teen who asked not to be named. Internet gambling is illegal in Illinois, said Melissa Merz, a spokeswoman for Atty. Gen. Lisa Madigan.Not quite card sharks, the players become more savvy over time."Anybody can learn to play cards," said David Torres, 18, a College of Lake County student from Mundelein. "Girls are really good at it because they can hide their emotions. A lot of guys will teach their girlfriend how to play poker. They'll go to a party and everyone will think, oh, she's a girl, she can't play poker."And then, of course, they rake it in, said Torres, who has played for three years.Liza Dickinson, 16, a junior at Mundelein High School, agrees. She plays every few days with a group of friends."With a bunch of guys, I always win," she said matter-of-factly. "Guys are bad at lying."Although schools don't allow gambling--and many ban card-playing of any form--some permit students to play as long as no money is exchanged."Up until a few years ago, the school district did not allow the students to play cards," said Stevenson High School Principal Doug Domeracki."Some students asked if they could play cards to pass the time. It went to committee and the decision was, why not? Let's let the kids play cards but make sure they know gambling is not allowed."By comparison, Elgin High School cracked down this year against all forms of game-playing, including cards and chess, Principal David Smiley said."We want kids working on curricular matters," said Smiley, who enforces quiet study halls. "We don't have game-playing. We're on the [state] early warning list because of test scores, so we really wanted to focus on why we're here."In Glenview, Springman Middle School added a gambling policy to its student handbook last year after some 8th graders were caught placing $2 to $10 bets on sporting events.The case against poker isn't always clear cut. Sure, betting is a no-no. But the game acts as a great equalizer, drawing kids from various social sets and age groups, from pre-teens on up. Played on buses and in cafeterias and gyms, it remains a good way to pass the time and bond with friends.Last spring, debate team members from Glenbrook North High School played poker during breaks at a national tournament in Salt Lake City, where they won the top prize."It's entertaining and it's cheaper than a movie," said Zach Rudin, 18, of Wilmette, a New Trier graduate who plays with his younger brother and their friends. "Movies are $10, and they're not always good. With poker, we can buy in for $5 and you'll usually get an hour or two or three of good entertainment. I justify it that way when I lose."Chad Shoman, 18, thought the game was "pretty stupid" until he realized his buddies were all playing and figured he'd better grab a deck of cards if he wanted to keep their company. Admitting he's hooked, he plays every Sunday evening at a friend's house in Vernon Hills."We talk about politics, about sports, about poker and who won on ESPN this week. Music. Everything," said Shoman, who attends the College of Lake County in Grayslake.At Stevenson High School, hands both hot and cold get dealt before school starts or during lunch periods."We're not allowed to have music. We're not allowed to have electronics, so it's like, what can we do?" said C.J. McFate, 15, who occasionally joins the regulars.Playing for money, though? That's serious stuff and makes parents nervous, according to McFate, who said he mostly plays for pennies or nothing at all.His friend, Mark Hamilton, 15, another Stevenson student who lives in Buffalo Grove, said he pitches in no more than $1.50."It's only with our friends," said Hamilton, who thinks some kids are trying to start a poker club at school.Colette Lueck wasn't bothered when her 14-year-old son and his buddies anted up pretzels and pizza during their weekly poker games. But with the teens now tossing $10 each into the pot, Lueck said she's conflicted."We've had conversations about whether this is a passing fad or if it's an entryway into an addiction the way you'd be cautious about kids experimenting with alcohol," said Lueck, 55, of Oak Park.Dr. Bennett Leventhal, professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the University of Chicago Hospitals, said parents should supervise poker games."What's the difference between playing poker or Uno or bridge?" Leventhal said. "The question is the wagering. I wouldn't see the games as inherently bad. It's how they're used and who the kids are who are playing it. ... In general I think it's inappropriate for kids to wager."Parents should talk to their children about what happens if they win and lose, and how to walk away from the table, Leventhal said.Alan Cosby isn't worried and said he knows when to quit. Playing poker has become so mainstream and such an effective ice-breaker that he said it has helped him meet new people at school."It's not just like the jock kids are playing poker," Cosby said. "Every kind of kid likes poker. It really does cross boundaries."

Seeking God's Guidance???

How do we find genuine godly guidance? Seven words may help us.
CLEANSING, SURRENDERING, ASKING, MEDITATING, BELIEVING, WAITING, and RECEIVING

The first is cleansing. We need to ask: "What is there in my life that hinders me from hearing what You are saying?" Cleansing comes by confession (1 John 1:9).

The second word is surrendering. Surrender is both a humbling and uplifting experience (1 Peter 5:6).

Next is asking. God promises that when we ask according to His will, He hears us. And when we know that He hears us, we know that He has answered (1 John 5:14-15), though the answer may come quickly or over a long period of time.

The fourth word is meditating. God promises that His Word will be a light to our paths (Psalm 119:105), so the more we think about His Word, the clearer the path will be.

The next word is believing. Mark 11:22-24 tells us that when we ask, we must believe that He is going to give us what we have requested.

Sixth is waiting. In Isaiah 64:4, God promises that He acts on our behalf when we wait for Him. If we get ahead of Him, run in and try to fix things, or manipulate circumstances, we can have it our way. But if we wait on the Lord, our sovereign, divine, omnipotent God will act on our behalf.

And all that will be left is receiving His guidance (Matthew 7:7-8). Perhaps no one else in the world will understand or agree with your decision - but you will have heard from the One who matters most.

the college years (part 2)...

SPORTS:
I started the year playing soccer (midfield as usual, but I got moved up to forward)-got injured and stopped enjoying it. The coach was horrible. I tried out for the club volleyball team, but i found myself short on time with other things. Didn't run track til my junior year. why? we built a new sports complex with a new 200m bouncy track. Now during this time, I found out that I had a heart condition-myopic pulmonary valve problem. See the value normally flips up and down as it gushes your blood out and then stays above the artery, mine however, after strenuous workouts sinks in. Thus causing longer recouping times (ex. running 400m. typical is 5 min cooldown, I take 30 min)or overheating. And sometime down the road-irregular hearbeats.

SO, if you ever see me tired or ppl telling me to rest or drink lots of water, its for me to recoup and not overheat

FRATERNITY LIFE:
joined a fraternity- Sigma Pi. WHY? All the other soccer guys were on team, it was so close to my dorm, all the guys around our freshmen dorm room joined, and the 2 other guys i knew from high school joined. Plus, this was the house the campus ppl admired. we were the above-average joe house (not the very cool house or the jock house). a place where you could feel comfortable and just hang out.

I lived in the house for 3 years. By far the most diguesting place to live. Here's just an example, can you imagine 40 guys living in a dormer at night. (don't get me wrong, we did have our own personal rooms to study and relax in.) thank goodness i lived by the exit door so I didnt have to smell the odor. and thank God there was a nice heater and a nice A/C machine next to my bed. Some interesting stories here (like the bad bar of ummm "candy", the dorm raids, the downstairs party speakers aimed underneath your bed, and ummm other stuff that cant be mentioned here).

I was treasurer (third counselor) for 2 years and a pledge trainer for a semester.

and yes for those of you wondering...this is where I learned to play poker. you name it, we probably played. I remember not going to psych (8am) or calc class (9am) for the month of october. its not a great highlight of my college days, but its something I learned from.

worked at a sorority house (Alpha Gamma Delta-AGD the grey squirrels) for 3 1/2 years. It paid for my board (part of room and board). And I got to meet a bunch of great girls. Albeit snobby at very formal events, but most of them were in my classes, going out with my friends, or over at the house a lot.

And for those missing details about fraternity life. I can't tell you about I-Week...so don't ask and I can't say other things...like about parties or after hours or yeah...I'll stop there. You can ask me in person and depending on who you are and how old, I'll give you more details.

For the good note to end on. With lots of prayer and help, God helped us start an IV greek bible study after my sophomore year. we had about 5-8 guys attend. 1 person accepted Christ. and we got to represent the house at Greek Conference in Indianopolis.

to be continued...