My Ribs are killing me....
I have no idea if they're bruised or broken. But, I do know one thing. It hurts more now then when i got injured. It hurts to put pressure on it. It hurts when i breathe. It hurts a ton when i cough or sneeze. Grrrrrrr. Should have let Roland run by me. And why haven't I gone to the doctor yet to get x-rays. Because either way, I'll have to do the same thing. Just take it easy and rest.

finally a decision...
Jenni is finally going to make a decision on which job to take. Thank God for answering prayers. I didnt have a choice back then to make (between one or the other). I think I took whichever job was available at the time (actually, I was in Josh Koh's family room after church laughing at the job description and about how I could get the job with my broken Chinese skills). God provided and I knew why I was there. One thing I'm sure about. Money isnt everything. Dont kill yourself over big pay. Enjoy Life and the time you have with other people, especially those close to you.

getting back to square one...
why do i need a new beginning?
2 big reasons:
1) Lost sight of who HE is:
This is by far the scariest to me. I dont know who HE is anymore and what HE means to me and what HE has done for me. Just writing these things doesnt even bring a tear to my eye. (It does though on Sundays at church and sometimes when I'm all alone.) Really scary from where I've been or what I've gone through.
2) Seeing who I am:
The second reason is not too far off from the first. Actually right now, I am the scared about myself. I am terrified. I fall too easily from sin and I dont even try to turn away from it. The two of my biggest stumbling blocks. Lust and Anger.

I'm sorry Jenni for both. I wish I could be a better man of God to you. I'm really sorry for what I did to you before Thanksgiving. Please forgive me.

I saw the funniest thing today....

a short and sweet story. so, I was driving in the worst weather to hit St. Louis in sometime. 1 inch of snowfall basicaly crippled all the expressways in the area. I believe 2 highways were completely shut down. And why weren't there any snow plows out???? I have no idea, but I think they just didnt believe it would snow. So, as it took me 2 hours to get into work today. I saw a strange accident. Pigs or Cows were on the highway. Apparently, one of those animal trucks couldnt make it up and hill and flipped over...sending some 10 or so animals into the road. I didnt have a camera with me, but wow....what a sight.

Prayer...
When in doubt pray
When in trouble pray
Thankful for anything? Pray

It's definately something we all need to do throughout the day. If not, I think life gets a little crazy on us.
what do you pray about? EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING!
how do you pray? in many ways, but always prepare your heart for the "special" time with God and you.
Its all about developing a relationship with Him.
who do you pray for? Everyone you can think of and more.
Does this all seem very challenging to you? Well, if it does, take it slow. God takes it at your pace. He allows you to be who you are. Above else, let the Spirit lead

surfing the web...

Christmas is an interesting time of year. Its supposed to be a time to celebrate the birth of Christ, but nowadays its mostly to shop weeks in advance to buys gifts for family, those close to you, and coworkers and perhaps others. Gifts are so hard to get sometimes. Usually people have everything and youre just trying to get something they probably really dont need but wouldnt be bad to have. I spent most of the afternon shopping and asking everyone in the office what to get for Jenni. I think i found the right gift, but I'm not sure if she'll like it or not. She's been hinting for me to give this for 3 years now. And for what I've been told....I'm too far behind. There was a lot of snikering going on. Deservingly of course.

random thoughts....

okay so my favorite verse is 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8a
" Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails."

so another day comes and fades....

didnt sleep until 1:30am. And wasnt the best rest either. Too much on my mind still. Ah, how i wish i could be a kid again. Then again. Actually, I wish I just graduated from college. Man were those some great days. Great to see God move and all around the place.

~*~ taking a break ~*~
im trying to cook some korean food tonite. i wish i knew how to cook some dishes. I learned one back home with my sis, but i dont remember all the ingredients and the steps....so im just going to give it a shot.
doing bills too. there seems to be so many right now
~*~ back to the program ~*~
ok side track first:
man, I wonder where I'm going to be in about 6 months???? St. Louis (doubt it), Chicago (most likely), maybe Shanghai...or perhaps somewhere else like Minneapolis or the East coast.
GRRRRR headache

So, where shall i begin?

In one of Pastor Nick's sermons, he suggests to choose a verse out of the Bible to represent where God wants to lead you. As much as this is a good idea. I think I need to pass on the idea, because my heart needs to be prepared and primed for the operation (Sin is cancerous-it spreads and kills healthy cells). Plus, I wouldnt know which one to choose. So, I'm off to pray and ask God to show me the hideous stuff that is in my heart, mind, and soul. I doubt it'll take an hour, or a day, but I can't wait to be freed from sin. Trust me I cant wait.

God how I want to start anew again. Refreshed. Born again.
......I really dont know how I'm going to get there. (geez...where do i start?)
......I really dont know how long this will last either (I've never really kept up with a journal), but my sis says to at least try. There's also a passage about getting back up over and over again to finish the race. (see....I've been out of the race for awhile now and it's really bothering me).
Anyways, here it goes. So, if anyone out there is reading this. Pray for me, 'cause I need it desperately.