Headache and Depression....
Man does my head hurt with all of this house stuff. Mortgages....which one is better and why....all these numbers and figures.....AHHHHHH. then you have to sign all these forms and call all these people to do inspections, lawyer, home insurance and so on and so on. I think also because I didn't realize all the extra costs associated with buying a home. So many fees and costs. Anyways, on top of all the forms, Ray is gone on business so its a little more complicating than usual. No blame on ray here. just a little more tricky to do things. And finally, its all due in like 5 days or something.....AHHHHHHHH

so anyways as this doesnt seem like its enough, I think I'm having issue problems with my life. A bunch of old thoughts and problems flaring up. on top of that loneliness and missing this place down here in st louis and all my coworkers I've gotten to know in the last 2 years.

Ah well.
must pray, pray pray pray and trust that God will provide and provide much grace and peace of mind.
Jesus help me!

a couple of days of answered prayers...
these past two days have been tremendous on a lot of fronts. I only have God to thank for answering them in such a quick time table. Okay, so here's a list of all the major things he's done:
1) ability to buy a place with ray for the price we wanted.
2) ability to get a loan from our mortgage corporation even though it was past the deadline.
3) getting my safety deposit back for my apartment along with a nice apology.
4) speaking with my clients informing them of my move and them being happy to stay with me and wishing me well
5) being able to spend time with my folks before they go to China (which by the way, theyre now leaving in June because of SARS)
6) getting reacquainted with people back home and elsewhere
7) God providing the right messages to hear in the car at the right times.